“Could it be that a certain film fella is trying to straighten up his image? That’s the buzz on the set of his latest flick, where crew members openly laugh about the publicity linking the little monkey with two of his female costars. I hear that both ladies have compared notes and realize that the diminutive dude’s attentions are visible only when the press is around. When the cameras aren’t rolling and the lights are turned down low, our adventurous little imp is off jonesing with any male he can get his hands on. And I’m told that hands are his least popular receptacle. The buzz is that his thumb isn’t the only thing he’s good at sucking. I hear that he can’t live his life without dick…and that’s one too many clues, if you ask me. ”

Analysis:

“Monkey” - Elijah Wood’s childhood nickname was “Monkey.”
“Jonesing” - Elijah Wood’s character in his new movie, Try Seventeen, is named Jones.
“Thumb sucking” - Elijah Wood is said to be filming a movie called Thumbsucker soon.
“Diminutive” - Elijah Wood is very short.

CONCLUSION:
Elijah Wood is VERY, VERY, GAY!

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